Requiem for a Drink

Macit Quote of the Day: If you drink something with ice in it, you will get sick.

Sorry for the brief hiatus.  I was re-acclimating to the good ol’ United States for the past couple weeks.  Not really, I've just been ultra lazy and am trying to rectify that now.  

This may be one of my last posts regarding Turkey for the following reasons.  One, I’m not entirely sure how many posts I have to do, so if 8 becomes the Macit number (see what I did there) then I’m going to be a bum and do the minimum.  That probably won’t bode well for getting selected in future NEH stints, but hey, Congress is trying to slash their budget in half anyway, so it will become even more selective in the future.  Secondly, its getting closer and closer to the school year and I need to start focusing more of my energies on creating stuff for the kiddos.  I know, you’re all thinking, “but Pat, your Macit quotes are the only thing that get me through my miserable day” and to that I say be better at living.  But I do appreciate the 4 or 5 of you who have read my articles.  I hope I’m not exaggerating that number too much.  There’s a chance that I would like to start a new blog about my adventures at my new school, Bedford High, focusing on my teaching style, ideas, and general rants.  If that happens, I’ll let you know.

But on to the good stuff.

So towards the end of the trip we had to do a scavenger hunt in Taksim, the area in Istanbul that has been the fulcrum of the unrest directed towards the government.  The neighborhood was really nice, I had already been there a few times unofficially, and it was similar to many downtown areas in major cities, full of restaurants and shopping centers.  Our scavenger team consisted of myself, Eric, Clara, Deb, and Ron.  It was basically a dreamteam.  Ron had the most knowledge of Turkish and Middle Eastern history among the teachers so he was an invaluable resource in many of the trickier items to find; Eric, Clara, and I found a ton of items in Burger King and a bookstore (it was actually kind of cheap and we stretched some definitions of what counted); and Deb ran away, I wasn't too sure what happened to her.

We ended up winning the hunt, I’m pretty confident that we crushed all competition.  This gave me ample opportunity to explore some of the side streets in Taksim which consisted of a lot of bars.  I found the best place ever, a place that I wish I found early on in the trip, not on the third to last day.  This amazing place was known as the Pacific Cafe (maybe bar or some other word, it’s a little hazy).  In any event, they had a seven hour long happy hour from noon to seven where you could pay 10 TL for two beers and a shot of tequila.  What!?!  Are you being serious, that’s like only $5 US.  I was elated once I found it, but had no one to share my joy with.  I scuttled back to the group (when I’m excited I do a crab walk) and found Luke and Brent.  We jumped at the thought of being drunk for cheap and made our way back to the bar.  After a couple of rounds, Luke unfortunately had to leave on account that he had made dinner plans with Richard, but we all knew he wanted to stay.

This led to Brent and I hanging at this place for about 4 or 5 hours.  They always say a picture is worth a thousand words and I don’t feel like writing much else, so here is what the Pacific Cafe led to.

Brent leaping off the Galata Bridge into the Golden Horn.

The Most Evil Eye

Macit Quote of the Day: If you have a good camera I’ll take it

The Evil Eye

Riddle me this:  Does the above quote mean that Macit is a photographer, or a thief?  Does he appreciate the art of photography, lining up shots, going to galleries in modern art museums, or is he a kleptomaniac? 

Mojo Jojo getting his ass handed to him by Powerpuff Girls: Notice exposed brain

If I told you that this questions ran through my mind about all Turkish people after a certain event in my trip, would you believe me?  Do you understand the paranoia that I had, constantly wondering if a nearby Turk was eying my art with appreciation or envy?  This paranoia perfectly sums up the idea of the ‘evil eye’ in Mediterranean society.  My stuff better not be too awesome, otherwise people will look upon it with jealously, putting some real bad Mojo on it.  Unfortunately for this talented American, I didn't do enough to ward off the envy of the Turks.

So here’s the deal.  I’m good at the ancient art of ebru, or marbling.  For those of you who don’t know, marbling is the process of dripping a colored paint into a mixture of water and resin.  The paint remains on the surface of the water/resin mix and you can design it.  After the design is completed, a piece of paper is gently placed on top of the surface and slid off, transferring the paint onto the paper.  I was an expert tulip maker.

Masterpiece

Here I am, with a brand new marbled tulip in my hand, happy as can be.  What could be better than creating a new piece of art than eating some delicious pizza? A group of seven of us decide that pizza and beer on the roof of our hotel sounds delightful.  We decided that we would split forces, 4 of us wait for pizza, 3 of us hunt down some beer.  I’m in the beer crew.  I left my beautiful painting under the auspices of a certain someone who shall remain unnamed since I didn’t know how hard it would be to carry beer and a masterpiece.  Big mistake.

Lo and behold, the unnamed person ‘forgot’ my masterpiece at the pizza shop.  No big deal, it was a masterpiece, it would still be there, we’ll get it after pizza.  The shop is a block away, by the time we get there about an hour has passed.  We arrive and see the man who served us.  He immediately looks flustered, like the bubble next to his head is saying “Caught red-handed”.  I ask him if he has seen the most tulip he has ever encountered.  His English isn’t perfect, but the message I hear is that he felt like I left it for garbage (yeah right, like I would leave masterpiece as garbage) and that it was destroyed.  I was not very happy, but I didn’t want to make the unnamed person feel bad, so I put on a brave face.  Strangely though, the man invited us back into the shop and took us to his bathroom.  Weird I thought. 

Signing Masterpiece

We open up the door to the bathroom, and you would imagine my surprise when masterpiece was plastered on his wall.  When he mentioned ‘destroyed’ he meant that it would rip if we tried to take it down.  Moral of the story: the Turks both appreciate the arts, who wouldn’t recognize the brilliance of masterpiece, and they’re thieves.  Silver lining, I’m a professional artist (he paid me in food the next day) and I’ve left a piece of me in Istanbul other than dead skin cells.

A Flushed Experience

Macit Quote of the Day: I tried to download a movie it took me three days to watch the movie and still I didn't finish it, I swear!

 

Dear Turkey,

Get a better internet connection, seriously, you don’t know the amount of memes you’re probably missing because of the lack of speed in your connection.  It was essentially impossible to do any sort of internet related work because of this.  I remember as a kid with a dial-up modem being able to download quicker.

Poopin' in holes, surprisingly comfortable

Also, what’s the deal with your plumbing in your hotels?  Its little things like figuring out how toilets and showers work that makes America a superpower and Turkey a not-superpower.  Brent and I roomed wit

h one another throughout the entire trip and it didn’t matter what hotel we were staying at, nor what city there was always a problem in the bathroom.  The hotel we stayed at the longest, Hotel Arcadia, had just undergone major renovations.  The rooms really were pretty sweet and the view from the rooftop was amazing, however, if you can’t figure out how to create a shower space where water doesn’t fly all over the bathroom you’ve got a problem.  Most toilets on our road trip couldn’t handle my business, it was embarrassing/disgusting.  I’m not sure if people know about Asian-style toilets, but here you go!

If you're fishing in toilets, your life has taken a bad turn

Here’s a summary of my bathroom experience in Turkey.  Brent found this gem in a gas-station bathroom.  Take a minute to identify all the crossed-out images.  If you need to explain this crap (pun definitely intended) to people than your country isn’t ahead of the curve.

Get with it Turkey!

Communication Breakdown

Macit Quote of the Day: We can communicate, don't you worry honey.

I think that one of the most potentially awkward and funny moments in any international trip is the possibility for misunderstandings due to language.  We've been lucky in that we have three different translators to help us through our trip: the ever affable Macit, Barb, and Dana.  There have been few times where anybody in the trip has been left high and dry without the help of a translator (or where a local Turk wasn't fluent enough in English to get through the conversation).

Sort of the idea of the chess pieces I was looking for.

One of our many stops during our trip through Turkey was in the beautiful town of Safranbolu.  This quaint village is a UNESCO World Heritage site and home to a ton of saffron growing, hence the name.  During out stay, we were giving some time to shop around the downtown area a bit.  One of the things I was looking for throughout the trip were chess pieces depicting Crusaders fighting against the Turks.  I saw them on the very first day I arrived, but they were too expensive so I spent the next 3 weeks looking for a cheaper version to no avail.  A few people on the trip were kind enough to be on the lookout with me and Shauna kindly informed me that she had seen some chess sets at one of the stores and that I should check it out.

Turkish people sell lots of breakable crap.

I waltz in to the store (the wrong store by chance, this guy isn’t so good at directions) and begin the awkward exchange of trying to describe something to the owner with no mutual language abilities.  I should have realized it was the wrong store by the complete lack of chess sets in the room, but I was caught up in the whirlwind of negotiation, which we have established I was not good at.  I began gesticulating when I finally saw a crummy chess set in the corner of the room and tried to make evident that I wanted to see if he had more.  Luckily, the store owner was incredibly nice and didn’t get upset when he opened up the box chess set to show me and I didn’t make a purchase.  He had two daughters in the shop with him who both spoke a little English, and I think that between all of us it was made clear that I wanted a different type of chess set and that he didn’t have more. 

See

I was about to leave the shop when I noticed that they did have quite the array of tea sets.  I love a good cup of tea and I would feel way more Turkish if I could drink some through a set made in China to look Turkish.  I began looking them over and one of the owner’s daughters came over to assist me.  She promised that she could give me a discount (a ubiquitous promise amongst Turkish sellers) and I selected a two-piece set.  Then began the negotiation process again.  We couldn't agree on a price and I was manfully about to walk out when the father came back in and said something about being a part of the family and I would get an extra special price.  We agreed and one of the daughters began packaging up the set.

The Turks should have added this guy to the family.

Here’s where it gets weird.  The father and older daughter begin speaking in Turkish and the daughter turned bright red and begins hitting her dad.  Now, the man had a thick Turkish accent, and his English was the opposite of good, but I think he told me that his daughter looked nice without the many coverings of her garments and then made a motion of cutting off her sleeves to reveal her arms.  I immediately think back to when he said something about being a part of the family and am now concerned that he was being too literal.  I awkwardly laugh and shrug my shoulders as if I didn't understand (which by all accounts is true), paid, and got the hell out of there.  I hope my Turkish wife isn't mad that I left her.

Profit & Loss

Macit Quote of the Day: If these people pay taxes, I do not think so, not a lot.

One of the early lessons I learned in Turkey was that price negotiation was a main component in the purchasing of products.  Unlike the US, where prices are defined and abided by, it’s essentially an expectation that you haggle over the most mundane things in Turkey.

            Let’s get this out of the way, I’m not a good negotiator by any means.  I fold and get flustered under the slightest provocation.  I would be willing to spend extra money if the seller would end the transaction immediately.  However, there is one point of sale that I am actually oroud of because the salesman was a Grade A d-bag (sorry Susan if you’re reading this).  Even better, there’s video evidence of the guy pushing products literally into my face and me stoically resisting.

            First, some context.  There are, in Istanbul, a series of ice cream salesman (seriously, this story is about haggling over ice cream prices) who give you some ice cream with flair—think Jennifer Aniston in Office Space flair.  These guys do a little performance and you end up with ice cream.  Sounds awesome right!  Wrong.  Dead wrong.  These, so called, ice cream men are actually aggressively pushing their product onto the consumer—my mouth.  I literally looked over at the ice cream and suddenly ice cream cones were flying in my face.  After the performance, I was pushed into the store and asked for money.  At this point, I was feeling very put-off by what should have been a happy occasion, the receiving of a delicious frozen treat.  The ‘strongman’ demanding money wanted roughly 5 Turkish lira for one scoop of ice cream on a cone.  For perspective, I bought a 2 scoop on a cone for 4.50 T.l in the heart of Sultanahmet, the tourism capital of the city, where prices are ridiculous.  I argued that the price was unfair.  We hemmed and hawed for about 30 seconds when the expert negotiator, Jenny, rolled onto the scene and told me to put the cone down and walk away.  I followed her sage advice and made like a tree and left.

            At this point I’m all worked up.  The adrenaline was pumping, but cooler heads seemed to have prevailed.  “Muscles” however, hadn't had enough.  This jabroni comes running down the street and grabbed my arm demanding money.  I would like to point out at this juncture that my roomie Brent had scurried off and did not have my back.  So it was me and Jenny versus “Muscles”.  If you recall, I’m worked up.  I must have had my best ‘get off me bra’ face on because my steely gaze stopped him dead in his tracks.  The following day I went to a regular ice cream purveyor and ate the best pistachio ice cream I've ever tasted.

Pat-1 Istanbul-0

Photobombing!

Macit Quote of the Day: "Photobombing, hahaha, I have never heard of that one!"

Check out the epic level of photobombing occurring in this photo.

Macit didn't stand a chance against Eric.  Eric has completely ruined any chance of machismo that Macit had while holding a broken golf club with a stuffed squirrel on top and wearing a safari hat.  It's not even fair.

Macit was a good sport though, after having his photobombing cherry popped so hard it would be easy for him to become enraged and taekwondo Eric and I.  But he didn't, and that's why Macit is the best.  I showed Macit the photo, explained to him the concept, and we laughed.  Now I'm working on convincing him that it would be even better if he started photobombing people that he was leading on tours.

Photography had never really interested me, but as part of this trip we have been encouraged to add to a group Flickr account and I'm starting to get into it.  Wherever we go I'm trying to think about how to frame my shots.  I think I've taken a few very nice ones, the Ottomans made it pretty simple as they provided a great combination of natural beauty fused within the aesthetics of their mosque complexes.  Here are a few of my favorite photos, either because I think they look nice or they amuse me.  You can check out my full album at my Google Plus profile.

The Pegacorn

Part Pegasus, part unicorn, all man.

 Lost Femur

I found this disturbingly close to the site of the battle of Gallipoli.  I planted it in the sand, maybe a man will grow.

 Rainbow over Istanbul

The Pegacorn farts rainbows, so you know it was near.

 The Elusive One

I photographed Michael while he was photographing, his soul is mine.

Untitled

Check out the schnozz on that one.

 Sinan the Magnificent

I only know one Sinan, and his dog pooped in the house.  This Sinan built awesome mosques.

Flowers

Just don't ask what type of flower it is, cause I don't know.

Mikla

From the Mikla bar across the Golden Horn.

Left to right

Eric, myself, Jenny, Brent, Richard, Clara, Luke, and David

Shadows

I liked the way the sun shone behind the minaret.

 Sunset over Istanbul

A great view from Galata.

Food & Drink

Macit quote of the day: Drink one raki, you feel like a lion; drink two raki, you feel like you can fight anyone in the bar; drink three raki, you feel like a donkey.

This will be the compulsory account of Turkish food and beverages.  Barb, one of historians of the Ottoman Empire, has been raving about the food since our webinar weeks before the trip.  I’ve enjoyed the food to a point, but haven’t been overly wowed.  Turkish food is heavy.  I don’t remember at any point during the trip where I sat down for a meal and actually thought, “I’m hungry and can’t wait to eat this 5 course meal”.  No matter what time of the day it is the Turks serve tons of food, which is ironic since it’s Ramadan and a healthy amount of the population is fasting throughout the day.  The food itself is pretty tasty, there is a heavy reliance on cheeses, olives, figs, honey, and other typically Mediterranean food.  The vegetables, for me, are the highlight as everything is fresher than in the US.  Their tomatoes are especially delicious.  Meat is an integral part of every meal that we have had and I don’t think there has been any point in my life where I have so consistently ate beef and lamb.  Most lamb is served from a doner, which is a vertical spit, exactly the same as a Greek gyro.  My favorite lamb has been the doner Ishkender, supposedly named because it was Alexander the Great’s favorite dish when conquering Anatolia.  The meal consists of pita bread with a creamy tomato sauce layered on top, doner, onions, yogurt, and a heavy butter.  Filling, fattening, and delicious.

As a man who can’t handle hard alcohol most of my experience has been drinking beer in Turkey.  Most Turks’ beer of choice is Efes, a Pilsner.  It’s delicious, enough said.  I have had one experience drinking the national beverage of Turkey, raki. 

As Mecit mentioned above, raki is a powerful beverage.  It’s usually consumed as an aperitif.  I had it with the aforementioned, Barb, who immediately put me to shame by ordering a double.  Our waitress, whom we named Vicki, affectionately patted me on the head and told Barb in Turkish that I was like a small child who couldn’t drink.  Ouch…my pride.  Raki however, is nicknamed lion’s milk for a reason, it injects pride and courage into you with every sip.  The best part about raki, wasn't the taste (it had an anise flavor which wasn't terrible) but the mixing of the drink at the table.  Raki looks like and is served with water.  Barb told me that you pour the water into the raki and then top it off with a couple pieces of ice.  The water and alcohol react and the mixture turns an opaque color, it’s really pretty cool to watch.

Next up on the blog we’ll be discussing some communication breakdowns and the hilarity that ensues.